Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Weird News - Georgia man wins big lottery prizes twice in week

The Associated Press

A 62-year-old man struck it big twice in the Georgia Lottery. Earl Fritz won the top prize of $777,777 in the instant game Super Lucky 7's. That dwarfed the $1,000 he won a week earlier in a different game. The carpenter said he felt lucky a week ago and now feels a little bit luckier.

Fritz said he didn't realize he had won the big prize at first because he wasn't wearing his glasses.

The first win came in the instant game Extreme Green.

Fritz and his wife have not decided what to do with the money.

Weird News - Montana woman uses chickens as therapy animals

The Associated Press

Therapy dogs can be a comfort for seniors and those recovering from illnesses and injuries. So how about therapy chickens? Jana Clairmont of Polson, Mont., calls her therapy birds — a white rooster and Cornish game hen — "Fowl Play."

On Thursday, she took them to visit residents at Polson Health and Rehabilitation Center in northeast Montana.

Many seniors were raised on farms, Clairmont says, and holding a chicken can bring back memories.

As one man stroked the rooster, Alex, the bird stretched out his neck and rested it across the man's forearm, like a puppy.

Clairmont has arranged visits to retirement and assisted living homes, and says she'd like to take Alex and Carlita, the hen, into classrooms this fall.

Joke - Old Man

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she says.

“What’s your secret for a long happy life?”

“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he responds.

“I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fat foods, and never exercise.”

“That’s amazing,” the woman answered, “How old are you?”

“Forty-six,” he said.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Bacon Lip Balm

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Golfer = Prayer

PAC-MAN HotHeads

Friday, June 12, 2009

What a Woman Means

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Barack Hussein Obama

The Obamanator

Carpet Mouse Pad

Joke - Latex Gloves

A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico.

"Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box."

His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary.

"That's not all," says the doctor, "You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"


Saturday, June 6, 2009

Your Father


Wednesday, June 3, 2009


The Grass

Monday, June 1, 2009

Chest Wig

Too Old

Joke - 9999999999

One day, on 9/9/99, a man woke up at 9:09 a.m. in the morning, jumped on Bus #99 and went to his favorite restaurant on 9th Street.

When the cashier rang up his order, it totaled $9.99.

"Oh, wow, this is an omen!" the man said, so he bought a pair of cheap binoculars at the 99¢ store, pulled out 99 cents in fares and took Bus #99 to the Race Track.

As he approached Gate No. 9, he said to the ticket agent: "I would like to bet $999.99 on Horse No. 9 in the 9th race."

"Why those particular numbers?" the ticket agent asked.

"Nine seems to be my lucky number today," the man said excitedly, "I'm really on a roll!"

Feeling confident, he sat through the first eight races until Race No. 9 came up. Sure enough, he was on a roll.

The horse came in ninth.