In a Phoenix airport boarding area they announced that the flight was overbooked.
The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats.
In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later.
About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.
About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter announced:
"If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward."
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Joke - Ham Dinner
A young woman was preparing a ham dinner.
After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking.
Her friend asked her, "Why did you cut off the end of the ham"?
And she replied, "I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to."
Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, "I really don't know, but that's the way my mom always did it."
A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?"
Her grandmother replied, "Well dear, it would never fit into my baking pan."
After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking.
Her friend asked her, "Why did you cut off the end of the ham"?
And she replied, "I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to."
Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, "I really don't know, but that's the way my mom always did it."
A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?"
Her grandmother replied, "Well dear, it would never fit into my baking pan."
Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Joke - Talking Dog for Sale
A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes around the house and into the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government."
"So I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down."
"I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals."
"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed.
He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars", says the owner.
The guy says, "This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes around the house and into the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government."
"So I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down."
"I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals."
"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed.
He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars", says the owner.
The guy says, "This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Weird News - Sacramento man takes job hunt to streets
The Associated Press
An unemployed Sacramento man has taken his job search to the streets.
Twenty-nine-year-old Michael Healey wore a signboard listing his employment qualifications as he stood on a downtown sidewalk Friday near the Sacramento Convention Center.
Healey called the tactic a "hail Mary" pass after six months of searching help-wanted ads produced only a handful of job interviews.
He said he had 10 years of business management experience.
The California Employment Development Department announced Friday that Healey has plenty of company. The state's unemployment rate rose to 8.4 percent in November, up from 8.2 percent in October.
An unemployed Sacramento man has taken his job search to the streets.
Twenty-nine-year-old Michael Healey wore a signboard listing his employment qualifications as he stood on a downtown sidewalk Friday near the Sacramento Convention Center.
Healey called the tactic a "hail Mary" pass after six months of searching help-wanted ads produced only a handful of job interviews.
He said he had 10 years of business management experience.
The California Employment Development Department announced Friday that Healey has plenty of company. The state's unemployment rate rose to 8.4 percent in November, up from 8.2 percent in October.
Joke - Forgive Me Sister
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.
She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."
He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."
She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."
He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Joke - Dear John Reply
The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following:
"Dear Mary,
I can not remember which one is you ... please keep YOUR photo and return the others!"
A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following:
"Dear Mary,
I can not remember which one is you ... please keep YOUR photo and return the others!"
Friday, December 19, 2008
Joke - Here's your fee schedule
A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.
"Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers. "You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months.
"What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client.
"Your right. It's mine."
"Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers. "You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months.
"What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client.
"Your right. It's mine."
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Joke - New Caddy
"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.
"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't
see where the ball went."
"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you
take my brother Scott along?"
"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball
disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."
"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't
see where the ball went."
"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you
take my brother Scott along?"
"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball
disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."
Monday, December 8, 2008
Joke - Made in Japan
There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing.
On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.
During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out
of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out
of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese
leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a
number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport.
The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"
There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"
On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.
During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out
of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out
of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese
leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a
number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport.
The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"
There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"
Friday, December 5, 2008
Joke - Top 10 Ways to Confuse Santa Claus on Christmas
10. Instead of milk and cookies leave Santa a Weight Watchers bar and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds!
9. While Santa’s in the house... go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket!
8. While Santa’s in the house... replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to fly!
7. Keep a bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big fat Santa suit!!
6. Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wants to remind him to pick up a loaf of bread on his way home.
5. Take everything out of your house as if it has just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well, well… They always return to the scene of the crime"
4. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute corrections.
3. Leave out a Santa suit with a dry-cleaning bill.
2. Instead of Christmas ornaments decorate your tree with pumpkins!
1. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa Claus to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us buddy!!"
9. While Santa’s in the house... go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket!
8. While Santa’s in the house... replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to fly!
7. Keep a bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big fat Santa suit!!
6. Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wants to remind him to pick up a loaf of bread on his way home.
5. Take everything out of your house as if it has just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well, well… They always return to the scene of the crime"
4. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute corrections.
3. Leave out a Santa suit with a dry-cleaning bill.
2. Instead of Christmas ornaments decorate your tree with pumpkins!
1. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa Claus to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us buddy!!"
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Weird News - Nude pics in phone lost at McDonald's get online
The Associated Press
Here's some food for thought: If you have nude photos of your wife on your cell phone, hang onto it.
Phillip Sherman of Arkansas learned that lesson after he left his phone behind at a McDonald's restaurant and the photos ended up online. Now he and his wife, Tina, are suing the McDonald's Corp., the franchise owner and the store manager.
The suit was filed Friday and seeks a jury trial and $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment and the cost of having to move to a new home.
The suit says that Phillip Sherman left the phone the Fayetteville store in July and that employees promised to secure it until he returned.
Manager Aaron Brummley declined to comment, and other company officials didn't return messages.
Here's some food for thought: If you have nude photos of your wife on your cell phone, hang onto it.
Phillip Sherman of Arkansas learned that lesson after he left his phone behind at a McDonald's restaurant and the photos ended up online. Now he and his wife, Tina, are suing the McDonald's Corp., the franchise owner and the store manager.
The suit was filed Friday and seeks a jury trial and $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment and the cost of having to move to a new home.
The suit says that Phillip Sherman left the phone the Fayetteville store in July and that employees promised to secure it until he returned.
Manager Aaron Brummley declined to comment, and other company officials didn't return messages.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Joke - Get Out of School
The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school.
"Hello, this is Dunn Elementary," answers the principal.
"Hi. Jimmy won't be able to come to school all next week," replies the voice.
"Well, what seems to be the problem with him?"
"We are all going on a family vacation," says the voice, "I hope it is all right."
"I guess that would be fine," says the principal. "May I ask who is calling?"
"Sure. This is my father!"
"Hello, this is Dunn Elementary," answers the principal.
"Hi. Jimmy won't be able to come to school all next week," replies the voice.
"Well, what seems to be the problem with him?"
"We are all going on a family vacation," says the voice, "I hope it is all right."
"I guess that would be fine," says the principal. "May I ask who is calling?"
"Sure. This is my father!"
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Joke - Christmas Prayers
A few days before Christmas, two young brothers were spending the night at their grandparent's house. When it was time to go to bed, and anxious to do the right thing, they both knelt down to say their prayers.
Suddenly, the younger one began to do so in a very loud voice.
"Dear Lord, please ask Santa Claus to bring me a play-station, a mountain-bike and a telescope."
His older brother leaned over and nudged his brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
"I know" he replied, "But Grandma is!"
Suddenly, the younger one began to do so in a very loud voice.
"Dear Lord, please ask Santa Claus to bring me a play-station, a mountain-bike and a telescope."
His older brother leaned over and nudged his brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
"I know" he replied, "But Grandma is!"
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Weird News - Man's untimely nap damages church's organ pipes
The Associated Press
This isn't music to anyone's ears: The restoration of a church's 130-year-old organ has been delayed because four delicate pipes were damaged when a visitor napped on them.
The 18-foot pipes were among about 50 stored in the basement at First Churches in Northampton during the sanctuary's renovation.
The Rev. Peter Ives estimates the damage at close to $15,000. But he says the organ can be played without the pipes. Ives says the church will not press charges.
The man apparently mistook the pipes for rolled-up rugs and slept on them. He is a homeless man who was in the church for a job counseling meeting.
The congregation traces its history to the 17th century, and was home to 18th century preacher Jonathan Edwards.
This isn't music to anyone's ears: The restoration of a church's 130-year-old organ has been delayed because four delicate pipes were damaged when a visitor napped on them.
The 18-foot pipes were among about 50 stored in the basement at First Churches in Northampton during the sanctuary's renovation.
The Rev. Peter Ives estimates the damage at close to $15,000. But he says the organ can be played without the pipes. Ives says the church will not press charges.
The man apparently mistook the pipes for rolled-up rugs and slept on them. He is a homeless man who was in the church for a job counseling meeting.
The congregation traces its history to the 17th century, and was home to 18th century preacher Jonathan Edwards.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Joke - Cognitive Reasoning Test
Three elderly ladies were at the doctor for a cognitive reasoning test.
The doctor says to the first gal, "What is three times three?" "297," was her prompt reply. "Ummm humm," says the doc.
The doctor says to the second lady, "It's your turn now. What is three times three?" "Friday," replies the second lady. "Ummm humm..."
Then the doc says to the third, "Okay, mam, your turn. What's three times three?"
"Nine," she says. "That's wonderful!" says the doc. "Tell me, how did you get that?"
"Simple," she says, beaming... "I subtracted 297 from Friday!"
The doctor says to the first gal, "What is three times three?" "297," was her prompt reply. "Ummm humm," says the doc.
The doctor says to the second lady, "It's your turn now. What is three times three?" "Friday," replies the second lady. "Ummm humm..."
Then the doc says to the third, "Okay, mam, your turn. What's three times three?"
"Nine," she says. "That's wonderful!" says the doc. "Tell me, how did you get that?"
"Simple," she says, beaming... "I subtracted 297 from Friday!"
Joke - A Lesson in Life
A child came home from his first day at school.
His Mother asked: 'Well, what did you learn today?'
The kid replied: 'Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow.'
His Mother asked: 'Well, what did you learn today?'
The kid replied: 'Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow.'
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Joke - Vote for Barack Obama
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy doesn't want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why will Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.
Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why will Ho Chi Minh vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will David Letterman vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he's running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because she's running out of other crazy things to do.
Q. Why will Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Obama?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Will Senator Larry Craig vote for Barack Obama?
A. He'll stall first.
Q. How will Osama Bin Laden vote for Barack Obama?
A. Absentee ballot.
Q. Why will Bill Ayers vote for Barack Obama?
A. Bill thinks Obama's the bomb.
Q. Why will sharks vote for Barack Obama?
A. Professional courtesy.
A. Because Jimmy doesn't want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why will Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.
Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why will Ho Chi Minh vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will David Letterman vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he's running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because she's running out of other crazy things to do.
Q. Why will Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Obama?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Will Senator Larry Craig vote for Barack Obama?
A. He'll stall first.
Q. How will Osama Bin Laden vote for Barack Obama?
A. Absentee ballot.
Q. Why will Bill Ayers vote for Barack Obama?
A. Bill thinks Obama's the bomb.
Q. Why will sharks vote for Barack Obama?
A. Professional courtesy.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Joke - Insufficient Funds
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"
"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Weird News - Men nabbed after playing 'chicken' with police car
The Associated Press
Three Oklahoma City men were arrested after playing "chicken" with a police car. Police said a 23-year-old man drove his car at the oncoming patrol car driven by Capt. J.D. Reid and didn't move until Reid swerved out of the way. Reid then chased the car until it crashed. The driver was found inside the car, another 22-year-old man was found lying outside the vehicle and a third man was found hiding behind a traffic sign.
Two of the men were hospitalized and the third was treated and taken to the Oklahoma County jail where he's being held without bond.
Police say the driver apparently decided on a whim to play chicken car and didn't realize the car was a police car.
Three Oklahoma City men were arrested after playing "chicken" with a police car. Police said a 23-year-old man drove his car at the oncoming patrol car driven by Capt. J.D. Reid and didn't move until Reid swerved out of the way. Reid then chased the car until it crashed. The driver was found inside the car, another 22-year-old man was found lying outside the vehicle and a third man was found hiding behind a traffic sign.
Two of the men were hospitalized and the third was treated and taken to the Oklahoma County jail where he's being held without bond.
Police say the driver apparently decided on a whim to play chicken car and didn't realize the car was a police car.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Weird News - No takers for contest that requires abstinence
The Associated Press
A contest that would pay $10,000 to an engaged couple, as long as they abstain from premarital sex, hasn't gotten any takers. The deadline for the Marriage for a Lifetime contest is Oct. 31. The prize includes free flowers, invitations and other wedding treats.
So far, organizer Phillippia Faust hasn't gotten any entries.
She said, "In our society it's going to be hard to find" a couple that hasn't had premarital sex.
Faust has orchestrated mock weddings and other pro-marriage activities through her Marriage Appreciation Training Uplifting Relationship Education program, a nonprofit that isn't church-affiliated. The program is implemented through Rockdale Medical Center.
A contest that would pay $10,000 to an engaged couple, as long as they abstain from premarital sex, hasn't gotten any takers. The deadline for the Marriage for a Lifetime contest is Oct. 31. The prize includes free flowers, invitations and other wedding treats.
So far, organizer Phillippia Faust hasn't gotten any entries.
She said, "In our society it's going to be hard to find" a couple that hasn't had premarital sex.
Faust has orchestrated mock weddings and other pro-marriage activities through her Marriage Appreciation Training Uplifting Relationship Education program, a nonprofit that isn't church-affiliated. The program is implemented through Rockdale Medical Center.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Weird News - Brooklyn librarian fined $500 over daughter's book
The Associated Press
A New York City high school librarian has been fined $500, but it isn't a late fee: He's being punished for promoting his daughter's graphic novel on the job.
Robert Grandt says he only meant to show how proud he was by highlighting his daughter's first book, an adaptation of "Macbeth" that she co-illustrated. Grandt promoted the book in a newsletter he distributes as a librarian at Brooklyn Technical High School and gave out free copies.
The city's Conflicts of Interest Board says he broke an ethics code that prohibits public employees from taking actions that could benefit them personally. Grandt agreed to pay the fine.
Grandt says no one profited from his promotion. He says it's part of his job to "encourage the kids to read new books."
A New York City high school librarian has been fined $500, but it isn't a late fee: He's being punished for promoting his daughter's graphic novel on the job.
Robert Grandt says he only meant to show how proud he was by highlighting his daughter's first book, an adaptation of "Macbeth" that she co-illustrated. Grandt promoted the book in a newsletter he distributes as a librarian at Brooklyn Technical High School and gave out free copies.
The city's Conflicts of Interest Board says he broke an ethics code that prohibits public employees from taking actions that could benefit them personally. Grandt agreed to pay the fine.
Grandt says no one profited from his promotion. He says it's part of his job to "encourage the kids to read new books."
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Joke - 24 Hours to Live
After dozens of very expensive tests and weeks of hospitalization, the rich old man was told he had only 24 hours to live.
He immediately called his doctor and his lawyer to his room. He asked the doctor to stand by one side of his bed and his lawyer to stand by the other.
After standing for some time, the doctor asked "What do you want me to do?" "Nothing. Just stand there."
A while later, the lawyer asked "What do you want me to do?" "Nothing. Just stand there."
As the hours wore on, the doctor and the lawyer watched the man weaken. When his time had almost arrived, the doctor and the lawyer again asked "Why are we standing here?"
"Well," said the old man, "Christ died between two thieves, so I thought I'd do the same!
He immediately called his doctor and his lawyer to his room. He asked the doctor to stand by one side of his bed and his lawyer to stand by the other.
After standing for some time, the doctor asked "What do you want me to do?" "Nothing. Just stand there."
A while later, the lawyer asked "What do you want me to do?" "Nothing. Just stand there."
As the hours wore on, the doctor and the lawyer watched the man weaken. When his time had almost arrived, the doctor and the lawyer again asked "Why are we standing here?"
"Well," said the old man, "Christ died between two thieves, so I thought I'd do the same!
Joke - Good and Bad News
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Joke - The Taxi Ride
A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York on a dark night.
The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.
The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look friend, don't EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologizes and says he didn't realize that a "little tap" could scare him so much.
The driver, after gathering himself together replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault.
Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!
The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.
The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look friend, don't EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologizes and says he didn't realize that a "little tap" could scare him so much.
The driver, after gathering himself together replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault.
Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
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