Nipple dunks

Encouragement

Joke - A Stolen Credit Card

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Joke - The Bum on a Street

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"

The bum said, "No."

The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"

The bum said, "No."

Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

You are What You Drive

Hamster Siege

No Shirt No Service

Joke - Viagra Cut into Four

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.

The pharmacist said "That`s no problem. How many do you want?"

The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen, but can you cut each one into four pieces."

The pharmacist said, "That`s too small a dose. That won`t get you through sex.

"The gentleman said, "Oh, that`s all right. I`m past eighty years old, and I don`t even think about sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don`t pee on my shoes.

Joke - You Should Learn to be More Polite

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"

Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"

Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."

Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"

Consumer Condoms

Fresh Milk

Warm Welcome Door Mat

Joke - Spell L-O-V-E

A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on a vacation so he asked the man to take over while he was away. God told the man to give everyone a test before letting them into heaven. God leaves and a man comes floating up and says, ''Please let me in to heaven.''

The other man says, ''I have to give you a test first.''

The man coming into heaven says, ''Oh jeez I'm not too good at tests!''

The other man says, ''Spell LOVE'' The man spells it, and he is let into heaven.

Then a woman comes floating up and says, ''Please let me into heaven,'' and the man replies, ''Only if you pass this test.''

The woman says, ''Oh no, I'm not very good at tests.''

The man says, ''Your test is to spell LOVE.''

She spells it correctly, and is let into heaven.

The next person that comes floating up is the man's wife. She says, ''OK honey, let me in to heaven.''

The man says, ''I have to give everyone a test before I let them in to heaven.''

She says, ''OK, make it an easy one!!!''

Then the man says, ''Spell Hemorrhoid.''

Insured by the Mafia

Was His