Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs and Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Joke - Maths
A little boy was doing his maths homework.
He said to himself, “Two plus five, the son of a b!tch is seven.”
“Three plus six, the son of a b!tch is nine...”
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”
The little boy answered, “I'm doing my maths homework, Mom.”
“And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked.
“Yes,” he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, “What are you teaching my son in maths?”
The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.”
The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the Son Of a b!tch is four?”
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, “What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.”
He said to himself, “Two plus five, the son of a b!tch is seven.”
“Three plus six, the son of a b!tch is nine...”
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”
The little boy answered, “I'm doing my maths homework, Mom.”
“And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked.
“Yes,” he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, “What are you teaching my son in maths?”
The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.”
The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the Son Of a b!tch is four?”
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, “What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.”
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Weird News - Man Spells Out Marriage Proposal in Ohio Field
The Associated Press
A wheat farm, large plastic letters and his dad's small plane? Jason Kahle thought it had a ring to it. He took his 23-year-old girlfriend, Aleasha Decker, up in the air Aug. 9 under the guise of photographing some relatives' houses in Kalida, about 60 miles southwest of Toledo in northwestern Ohio.
As Kahle's dad steered the plane, Decker looked out the window. She saw the question "Aleasha, marry me?" in 20-foot sheet plastic letters on top of a harvested field. She turned to find Kahle holding out a ring.
A wedding date has been set for June 5, 2010.
A wheat farm, large plastic letters and his dad's small plane? Jason Kahle thought it had a ring to it. He took his 23-year-old girlfriend, Aleasha Decker, up in the air Aug. 9 under the guise of photographing some relatives' houses in Kalida, about 60 miles southwest of Toledo in northwestern Ohio.
As Kahle's dad steered the plane, Decker looked out the window. She saw the question "Aleasha, marry me?" in 20-foot sheet plastic letters on top of a harvested field. She turned to find Kahle holding out a ring.
A wedding date has been set for June 5, 2010.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Weird News - Cincinnati Man Arrested 146 Times Since 1998
The Associated Press
Authorities said Bennie Crabtree is the most-arrested man in the county. Records show he has been arrested 146 times since 1998, when Hamilton County's record-keeping system was updated. Veteran police officers said he was arrested many more times in the decades before that.
Crabtree's record includes criminal trespassing, disorderly conduct and theft. Police say he steals food and intrudes in places such as the University of Cincinnati, hospitals and businesses. He's never done anything serious enough to be sent to prison.
Because of jail overcrowding, he's now often released hours after arrest.
Police say the 61-year-old man has lived mostly on the streets and has some mental problems.
A social worker says Crabtree is lonely.
Authorities said Bennie Crabtree is the most-arrested man in the county. Records show he has been arrested 146 times since 1998, when Hamilton County's record-keeping system was updated. Veteran police officers said he was arrested many more times in the decades before that.
Crabtree's record includes criminal trespassing, disorderly conduct and theft. Police say he steals food and intrudes in places such as the University of Cincinnati, hospitals and businesses. He's never done anything serious enough to be sent to prison.
Because of jail overcrowding, he's now often released hours after arrest.
Police say the 61-year-old man has lived mostly on the streets and has some mental problems.
A social worker says Crabtree is lonely.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)